“Encouraging Younger Women” (Titus 2:4–5)

Series: “Titus: Godly People, Godly Church,” #9Text: Titus 2:4–5

By: Shaun Marksbury Date: June 30, 2024

Venue: Living Water Baptist ChurchOccasion: PM Service

Introduction

Often times, it’s helpful in the education process to have kids help kids. This can happen with children of the same age, if one understands a concept and can help another. Sometimes, older children can tutor younger children on concepts that seem a bit clearer now that they’ve had more educational experience, being able to understand basic arithmetic more, for example. It can also force the children helping others to think more about those subjects, meaning that they grow more proficient themselves. Of course, this practice isn’t limited to academics; for instance, many companies ask their employees to train new hires, thus not limiting their instruction to human resources or supervisors. Within the Christian life, every believer — male, female, young, or old — needs other Christians to help them learn the Christian walk.

Last time, we considered instructions for elders and older individuals within the church. These are important categories within the church. It might be tempting to only think of church elders or pastors as essential, those preaching and ministering. However, there’s only so much that pastors can do, and discipleship is something in which the whole church should be involved. As such, it’s important that church elders empower older congregants so they can help in church discipleship.

There are many ways in which older people can disciple others. It may be as simple as demonstrating a consistent walk and providing some wise, biblical words at the right moment. Sometimes, they may take a more direct approach, such as through teaching group studies or leading fellowship groups for younger people. Perhaps they can volunteer with such ministries, ensuring that we have the manpower we need. It may be through pursuing some education and certification in counseling, so they can help with troubled discipleship cases within the church. Perhaps there is someone you connect well with and you just go to the park together, walking and talking. These are just a few suggestions, and maybe they will get you thinking about other ways God can use you to disciple others within the church.

Discipleship is an essential area of ministry within the church. It is something I would love to see more of in our church, and I would love to talk to you about ways in which you could disciple others. Of course, if you’re not being discipled right now, we would also love to talk to you about ways in which that can happen here.

The general pattern is that the older disciples the younger, which is what we see in Titus 2. For instance, verse 3 leaves us with a command for spiritually sound older women to teach good works to the younger women. In these next two verses, we see six ways in which older women are to teach the younger. Younger women should be taught to think wisely, to love their families, to work at home, to be kind, to be subject, and to honor God’s Word. Let’s consider the first of these.

Younger women should be taught to think wisely (v. 4a, 5ab)

so that they may encourage the young women… to be sensible, pure

Let’s begin by considering who these young women are. The word here is a feminine form of “new,” and given the context, we would understand this to mean newly married. In the ancient world, because of health reasons, this tended to be a younger age (in the mid to later teens). The exact age isn’t as important as the general station in life — these are young women, perhaps leaving the home for the first time or having only recently moved out, entering into marriage and needing some advice. So, according to v. 3, older women are to teach good things by encouraging the younger women; perhaps they are also new converts, meaning that this isn’t simply a job for their unbelieving mothers.

Yet, the word is more than “encourage,” and the LSB has “instruct” here. The ESV uses “train.” The Greek word means “to make sane or sober-minded, to recall a person to his senses,” hence “to moderate, chasten, discipline.” The Reformation Study Bible says this is to “bring them to their senses.” To summarize the thoughts here, older women are to instruct younger women in right or wise thinking.

This doesn’t just refer to the acquiring of knowledge. Hopefully, if they are not new converts, young ladies in the church learn about Scripture and theology from childhood. Yet, as they enter this new chapter of life through marriage, they must now begin applying Scripture in a practical way. Moreover, there may be certain gray areas they never considered and therein don’t know how to apply Scripture.

The term here is related to the term in v. 5. These women are to be “sensible,” we read, or sober-minded. There is a sense of self-control here, where they learn to think through issues and don’t become slaves to their emotions. The pressures of marriage can expose areas of immaturity in the thinking of both spouses, and a younger woman should be able to talk to a spiritually mature woman to learn how to better think through disagreements and conflict.

Moreover, she must learn to live a life of purity. This is sometimes translated as “holy.” Women with right thinking are not like ships tossed by the waves of temptations. There are many women who fantasize about other men or different life situations (like having more money), and they grow discontent. They may also get drawn in by false teaching or false promises, placing their hope in the wrong places. So, they know what they need and, just as importantly, what they don’t need. They think and plan in a godly manner with a pure heart.

Godly young women must behave sensibly or moderately. Those who don’t want God’s Word reviled through their lives must have right thinking. More than that, they also should learn to cultivate a proper love for their families, bringing us to our next point.

Younger women should be taught to love their families (v. 4b)

to love their husbands, to love their children,

It has been incorrectly said, based on Ephesians 5, that husbands are to love their wives, while wives are only to respect and submit to their husbands. It is true that husbands need respect from their wives, and her disrespect can drive a wedge into the relationship. However, God also commands her to love her husband!

Now, remember that there are different words for love in the Greek (as we noted this morning). This is a phileō love, not an agapeō love. Some feminists have a hatred for men (misandry), and some married women might, because of the fall, desire to usurp their husbands. This term is the opposite of that: philandry (not to be confused with the modern definition of “philander”). A major task given to older women in the congregation is to oppose the spirit of the age and encourage younger women to desire marriage and to love their husbands.

This term isn’t the same term as say, erotic love (which is also needed in marriage, but it is a subject for another time). This is affectionate love, a “commitment of a woman to her husband’s welfare.” She should be concerned with what he needs and even desires (just as he should for her). Some women might grow to despise their husbands for having needs, wanting only to receive rather than to also give, and wise women in the church have to come around younger women and tell them that they are not princesses — they must show affection and care for their husbands.

The same is true of their children. Paul uses the same word, applying it to children. Women are to have both a philandry and a philtekney (if that is a word) — a love for husbands and a love for children. While this seems obvious, some women suffer from post-partum depression, which requires care. Moreover, it seems that natural love in our culture has grown cold, which we see most pointedly in abortion.

Lack of love for children isn’t new. Consider this comment from a theologian in 1930: “This exhortation is still needed where some married women prefer poodle-dogs to children.” Today, there are various trends on social media about people who want to be “child-free,” with several couples bragging that they are “DINKs” (“double-income, no kids”). These are couples who reveal in the money they have for themselves, their ability to buy what they want and go on vacations. There have always been women who did not want children, either because of abuse in their past or the love of self.

So, older women should help younger women to see that children are a blessing from the Lord. They will have to help them in specific ways — sometimes, even well-meaning mothers can do too much, and must learn the value in letting the child cry and not be a helicopter. Other times, they may need to be motivated to put their phones down and pick up the child. Just as we noted with husbands, women must show affection and care for their babies and children.

Some will see that this requires a lot of time at home. This is correct. And that leads us to the next point:

Younger women should be taught to work at home (v. 5c)

workers at home,

Here, we step into a bit of controversy. The Greek word here literally means “one who works in the home,” coming from the words for “house” and “work.” This is why the HCSB and the NKJV have “homemakers” here. This is a specific way a woman shows care and affection for her husband and children.

Unfortunately, some Christians have made a law here where there is no law. This word doesn’t imprison a woman to her home, forbidding her any duties beyond cooking, cleaning, and childcare. Scripture shows this is not the case; the so-called Proverbs 31 woman participates in commerce, for instance. Prior to the industrial revolution and urbanization, it was common for women to be involved in helping to work and provide for their families, even while the husband does the lion’s share of work outside the home. Still, a godly woman is primarily focused on, as 1 Timothy 5:14 says, keeping house or managing their households.

Her high and holy calling expresses worship of the Lord in action, reflecting His image, as the Lord fashions a home for us. This is an area in which women excel. They take a house and make it into a home. They can take a neighborhood and make it into a community. That’s why women in the church are so vital, for they can together make a building a church home for all the people of God.

To be clear, men need women in the home. The Reformer and bachelor Martin Luther, for instance, had marks of a bad housekeeper. He recalled, “Before I was married, the bed was not made for a whole year and became foul with sweat. But I worked so hard and was so weary I tumbled in without noticing.” I wonder whether Katharina von Bora washed or burned his bedding after they were wed. Men don’t make good homemakers on average.

Again, this isn’t to say that women are not to ever work outside the home, and it is necessary for many in our current economy. This also isn’t to say men shouldn’t help with the chores — we certainly can and should. However, just as men have the primary responsibility to work and provide, she has the primary responsibility of the work of the home. In fact, men should strive to ensure wives can live out the Word of God to the best of their abilities.

That isn’t all. She should work on her personal deportment. That brings us to the next point:

Younger women should be taught to be kind (v. 5d)

kind,

This can also just mean “good.” This “would indicate a lack of irritability in light of the nagging demands of mundane and routine household duties.” She should not become the like the dripping of a faucet (cf. Prov. 27:15) or who drives her husband to the corner of a roof with her contentious behavior (21:9; 25:24). While there are times when men need reality checks, there are women who are too eager to give them out because they indulge in sinful anger.

This word, “kind,” It could be read as going with the previous word — “kind workers at home.” However, many of the other traits listed here are single words, so this is not a required reading. Moreover, if they are to be kind in general, than this word applies to all categories, including “workers at home.” This means that they should also learn to be kind to others outside of their family, choosing their words with tact and discretion.

Christian women are to be generally tenderhearted, which comes from this place of having right thinking and right love in place. The loving mother “opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Prov. 31:26). This is difficult for some women who, perhaps like Martha, are more task-oriented than people-oriented. But a Christ-exalting love for others leads to kind and tenderhearted dealings.

This is why discipleship is so essential. Husbands can help in this area, too. Yet, the stress and of life may tempt younger women to want to rebel. That’s why she must also learn this point:

Younger women should be taught to be subject (v. 5e)

being subject to their own husbands,

As long as we’re stepping into controversy, we might as well step in with both feet. This is the same restriction as we read in Colossians 3:18, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Also, Ephesians 5:22 — “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (same word in v. 21 there). Peter similarly says, “you wives, be submissive to your own husbands” (1 Peter 3:1). This is why the word “obey” is in the bride’s traditional wedding vows (and yes, I do read that part in wedding ceremonies!).

What does this mean, though? It’s important to note there is nothing “in Scripture suggests that women are less competent than men, even in ruling or teaching.” Some believe that, because Eve was deceived, women are more gullible, but Paul simply uses this fact to state that women are to remain within their roles (cf. 1 Tim. 2:14–15). If she really needed guidance like a child, then all these verses would say she is to be subject to all men rather than to her own husband. This is simply referring to how the dynamics of decision-making would take place within a typical marriage.

Of course, that won’t make the feminists and egalitarians happy, but oh well. There’s nothing inherently degrading in her subjection to her husband. After all, Eve was to be in submission to Adam as his equal before the fall, and God the Son came to earth and practiced subjection to the Father as His equal. This is the difference between ontological and functional subordination; a wife is a partner with her husband who follows his lead. There’s nothing new in modern feminism, and Scripture rejects that regressive notion and replaces it with a better way.

Does this mean that women should obey their husbands without question? Of course not! Only God is owed our unquestioning submission, not husbands or even governing authorities. There’s a long tradition of godly civil disobedience in Scripture, so a wife would do well to lovingly but firmly tell her husband no when he demands something sinful of her. Keep in mind that she submits “as to the Lord,” and that the point of her submission is “that the word of God may not be reviled.” Therefore, there is a godly and worshipful manner in which a woman submits to her husband.

That brings us to the final point:

Younger women should be taught to honor God’s Word (v. 5f)

so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

The term here is “dishonored” or “slandered” (LSB). The term “blasphemed” is a more literal term (NKJV, KJV). The question Paul has here, and the woman of God should have, is whether God’s Word will be maligned by her behavior.

A young woman’s life should be framed in such a way as to not bring harm or injury to the Bible’s reputation. The submission of women was important to Grecian and Roman societies, though they often misapplied it. If women in the church showed no love or respect for their husbands and children in the name of newfound Christian freedom, they would invite ridicule upon God’s Word.

Conclusion

Considering the controversy today, I thought it best to stop there and save talking about young men until next week. For now, we’re just considering the way in which younger women are to be encouraged in the church. They are a precious and invaluable part of our fellowship.

Hopefully, the Word of God is our highest priority. Still, all Christians need help in seeing how it addresses every area of our lives. We need help understanding how it can apply to the particulars of our lives, especially in the gray areas. This is where discipleship comes into play.

I hope all the younger women of our church will welcome discipleship in their lives. I also hope the older women will take up that cause. And, of course, I hope the same for the men of the church, with the older teaching the younger. May we all be dedicated to improving our Christian lives, for the glory of God.